1. |
Madman
04:02
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This isn't the worst I've done, you tell me I'm lost but I keep coming home.
Can't you see the urgency? This madman inside won't hide and I confide in myself to stay alive. But it's not that easy. These insecurities overtake my need of existence to a tee. And why don't I care that this blood on your hands is all because of me?
Well, I can't take this back and I wouldn't if I could. I'm not sorry.
This is what I have become. The mold you made was only temporary.
Next time you wake up, you will find that this madman inside could never hide. (x2)
I hope you sleep well my love. You won't wake up. (x2)
(To children)
Listen, this wasn't the worst I've done. She told me I was lost but I kep coming home, didn't I?
I'm sorry for the urgency, I guess I'll just leave an try again with someone who understands me.
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2. |
Constant Reality Shifts
04:39
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Speak in tongues that I don't understand
make me feel like the outsider standing in question
I don't know anything, but I don't know that yet
maybe it's better to know nothing at all
And if knowledge is power, then why do I feel so weak?
It's consuming my mind and it renders me unable to speak
But why can't this sudden pain recede in the tide in my mind?
Don't settle on the shore, because I've felt this way too many times before
Why can't this sudden pain reside in the tide?
Is this real or am I dreaming you? When I can't feel, I question everything.
Why am I constantly questioning everything? Oh why. The answers out there, but not in this world so take me to the sky
Hello? I'm waiting for you. You said you'd come, but I don't follow.
Hello? We're waiting for you. You said you'd come, but we don't follow
Oh my god, if there is one, I'm waiting for you. So come on, come on.
Hello? We're waiting for you. You said you'd come, but I'm still waiting for you.
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3. |
I'm Not Fine
04:03
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My sense of self is draining, and I've been contemplating, is this me or is there someone else inside me waiting? My sanity is questioned when you look into my eyes. I promise these thoughts are only brought when I'm alone.
I swear that I'm not angry, and I'm not sad.
In my mind, I think it's fine but your reactions disprove that.
Is what you want from me to be who I really am?
Don't listen to me when I talk in my sleep, and when the walls start breathing just hold on tightly.
Next time you say I'm fine, I won't take it so lightly. Next time you tell me I'm alright.
"Come on creator, what am I? I fucking breathe without thinking and I talk without listening and I need you, but you have more important things to worry about don't you? I'm sure you do. And every time I try to tell myself that it's all in my head, I get this feeling in my chest that I know all too well and it feels so good, but every time the outcome is so, it's so beautiful in my eyes but to everyone else it's sick. And I don't understand because I'm not sick."
Next time you say I'm fine, I won't take it so lightly. Next time you tell me I'm alright I won't believe you because I'm not fine, and I wish that you could see that in my head, my dreams are as real as me, and I don't know what that means.
But I'm not fine, and it's not okay with me. If this story ends and I'm not dead, then I won't have too much to live for now that she's gone, and it's all because of you, but your gone too.
If I ever see you again, I'll make sure you felt how they felt. Your tears will fall the way their's fell. You told me this was all my fault, but I never laid a hand on anyone I loved. That's why I always gone in YOUR way.
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4. |
I Don't Believe
03:49
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Followed the light in a time I was so desperate.
Felt it was right, taking me miles away.
Now I'm starting to think it's inside. I thought I escaped, but I'm just a slave to this.
Oh no, I've made a mistake.
I've done this all before, I know that it's not easy but I'll try to make it easier on you.
We're never satisfied, even when it's fine because like everybody else, there is always something new.
Maybe we...
Maybe we're not so different from everyone. It never plays out that way in my head. Black and blue I made my truce with something or someone I thought was there for me, but I'm sorry because I don't believe.
"Please show me something, just prove me wrong. If you're up there, I need you and so does she, and so does everyone."
Let me, let me sing you to sleep.
I know that you're scared, but it's better this way for you but not for me.
Let me, let me sing you to sleep.
My eyes will barely stay open but I still see that if I never see you again, I'll make sure I kill you every night, because my dreams are as real as me.
You told me this was all my fault, and no one was there to tell you different but me, and I know you never believed in me
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5. |
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6. |
Sister
03:51
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Is this just a dream? Or am I stuck in a reality that I, I don't want. I don't like the force.
Please let me go, I promise I won't say a word to anyone.
Daddy please, I don't like the force.
Daddy please, please don't hurt me anymore.
Would you want me, me to hurt you? (x2)
I don't think so.
And I love you.
But I don't want this.
"Have you forgot who I once was? Well I'm sorry you have to live inside that head of yours.
Have you forgot who I once was? Well I'm sorry you have to live inside your head."
You said this madman inside would never hide, so why do you think all this time I have lied.
I believe that everything happen for a reason, but why this and why me?
I don't think that anyone deserves a thing like this, not even you.
I'm sorry you have to live inside your head.
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7. |
Confused
04:16
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You shine bright, brighter than the star I chose for you that night.
I watched you make me see that everything you want from me i more than I can be, but I'll try.
You've made it so far without and now I can't seem to make it, I don't know why I won't let this go and will you please just let me show you why I confuse you the way I do, I know you'll never make it through but that's okay, I'll just bottle it up.
You're on top of the world, and I won't bring you down because I'm not you.
I'm on top of the world, and nothing can bring me down because I don't want too.
You are the light, you're brighter than the star I chose that night, you are the light.
You are the light, it makes me wish I could never close my eyes.
Well why am I so afraid?
You've made it so far without and now I can't seem to make it, I don't know why I won't let this go and will you please just let me show you why I confuse you the way I do, I know you'll never make it through but that's okay, I'll just bottle it up.
I'm on top of the world, and you won't bring me down because you're not me.
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8. |
Brother
03:29
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Honestly, I'm so worn out from listening to what I've aloud for far too long, and another time before. I'm sorry sister.
Run away, don't let me see the pain you hide so beautifully.
But in suffering comes a peace that I have found, and I can teach you
I can feel it running through my veins, like I was put here for something more than just to be alive, but I don't know. Can you see this light reflecting off my skin. Everyone is staring at me.
You won't believe what I have seen, but now I feel it all inside of me.
If you loved me, you'd let me go.
I love you, I love you, not like the one before, so much more.
Killing what I have made, it's just too much. You've suffered enough.
Blindly making my way. I'll be there soon, but hide for me.
The time has arrived, and I can see just what I felt growing inside of me. I'm sorry sister, I hope you remember me.
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9. |
Lying Liar Lied
02:59
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If you can tell me it was nothing, can you tell me why my heart was beating out of my chest?
Holding onto something, inner ripples running through, I can't express.
Feelings I'm feeling, I'm trying not to feel but it feels so good.
Trying I'm trying, I've tried but it's not what you wanted.
What, what exactly have you done to me? I'm sorry I couldn't forgive you, and I'm sorry you're the same.
The blood, the blood filled me up and made me clean.
8 months later and you don't feel the same.
Not drugs to take away this pain, I'll die some day but not in vain.
I've learned I'm me and I can't change.
My head is clearer and I can see that everything inside of me is building up to what I'm supposed to be.
Lying, I'm lying, I've lied and I'm so sorry.
What, what exactly have you done to me? I'm sorry I couldn't forgive you, and I'm sorry you're the same.
The blood, the blood filled me up and made me clean.
8 months later and you don't feel the same.
Not drugs to take away this pain, I'll die some day but not in vain.
I've learned I'm me and I can't change.
My head is clearer and I can see that everything inside of me is building up to what I'm supposed to be.
The blood, the blood filled me up and made me clean.
8 months later and I still feel the same.
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10. |
Mindless
04:54
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Take some of my darkness, I won't need it all tonight
Pale faces in the pale moon light, I won't need you all tonight
Empty streets filled with ghosts that I tried to hide deep inside, but I guess I only tried.
We've gone so long without any direction, I thought we did it right but now I know we did it all wrong.
You make me forget I have this mind of my own, now I can feel.
The time's arrived, the time's arrived, don't worry, this is part of the plan.
Suddenly these feelings, this burning inside, this wasn't part of the plan.
I will, I will sing you to sleep.
Follow, follow my voice as I speak.
You can act like you don't want this but I see you're mesmerized by stars and skies.
In a world so unlike yours with hidden things behind the doors like watching eyes
***HAVE I LOST MY MIND OR AM I JUST LOST INSIDE OF IT? THIS FEELING KEEPS COMING BACK AND I JUST CAN'T FIGHT IT, BUT WILL YOU GUIDE ME?, DO YOU KNOW IT? YOU'RE MY GOD FOR THE MOMENT. I'M NOT WORTHY BECAUSE YOU WON'T LET ME BE***
I will, I will sing you to sleep.
Follow, follow my voice as I speak.
You can act like you you don't want this but I can see you're mesmerized by stars and skies.
In a world so unlike yours with hidden things behind the doors like watching eyes.
Have I lost my mind, or am I just lost inside of it?
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11. |
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*Your spotlight, don't put me under cause' I won't oblige.
And the street lights are brighter than anticipated, I won't sleep at home tonight.* (x2)
Son, save me with what I have given you.
When it's over, we can go back to how it was before but without them.
He didn't deserve it and she won't know, but you do. You know we can make it further on our own.
[Son] Oh, mother, you feel like I'm your son, but we both know that that's not true. I'm sorry I couldn't help you more.
Oh, mother, why did you have to go and take that innocent life away?
She put all of her faith in you.
This isn't the worst I've done, I'm so fucking lost but I'll find my way home soon.
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12. |
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How do you kill someone who's already dead.
Voices drown out the memory of what you did right.
How do you kill someone who's already dead?
I'm tired of feeling empty, yet so full of regret.
Counting down the day I'll see you again is what I always thought I'd do, but now I just want you out of my head.
Follow me down, follow me down, I'll show you what I have found. Finally, finally the time has arrived.
The time's arrived (x6)
Seconds away from what used to be my prison but now it's my plan.
You used to drain my spirits, but now you give me strength to get my revenge.
Well, are you afraid?
Well, you should be.
Killing what has made me, it bring me peace and resting please.
Knowing you're a family again... what have I done?
Don't come for me.
Mother, what did you do in this life, what did you do in this life to deserve this?
Oh, mother, mother, I'm sorry you have to live inside of my head.
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